She drags out her rich celebrity mates – Naomi Osaka painting plates, a Michelin-star chef making salted cod – while pretending this is just a casual Montecito get-together. Harry wanders in for his contractually-obliged cameo, makes an awkward joke about her mum’s cooking, and everyone laughs like it’s 2012 and we still find him charming.
The lowest point? Meghan solemnly telling the camera to “take care of yourself so you can take care of everybody else” while icing cookies in a kitchen bigger than most British houses. Yes, Meghan, we’ll be sure to practise self-care right after we finish our 60-hour work week and food-bank shop.
This isn’t a holiday special. It’s a glossy, smug infomercial from a woman who wants to be seen as “just like us” while making damn sure we never forget she’s absolutely nothing like us.
Save yourself the hour. Put the kettle on, dig out the Poundland crackers, and enjoy a Christmas that doesn’t come with a side order of Markle delusion.
