Picture this: a former royal who quit the job because it was “too hard” now skipping through a California Christmas tree farm to a Beach Boys track, picking out an 8-9ft designer tree while the rest of us are fighting over £29 wilting ones at the garden centre. She hangs $200 glass ornaments and a tribute to her dead beagle like any normal mum… except normal mums aren’t filming it for Netflix millions.
Then come the reusable Advent calendars stuffed with handwritten notes that scream therapy-speak: “I love you because you’re so brave.” Cute, sure – if you ignore the fact these kids have more staff than toys and live on a mansion compound most people couldn’t afford in ten lifetimes.

Meghan lectures us that “hosting doesn’t have to be perfect” and it’s “memories over meals” – minutes after bragging about “elevating what you eat” and dropping £60k Dior gowns in the same breath (remember Morocco?). The hypocrisy is thicker than her gumbo.