I pulled into my father’s driveway for my last box and froze. A giant banner over the garage screamed, ‘GOODBYE FREELOADER — DON’T COME BACK!’ My drunk uncle pointed at me, yelling, ‘Thirty years old and still useless!’ Then my sister threw a hot dog at my car and laughed, ‘Here’s your last free meal, loser!’ I said nothing. I just took one photo. Two weeks later, they were all begging me to answer the phone.

That afternoon, I drove up to grab my last box and nearly slammed the brakes when I saw what was happening. My father had pulled the grill into the driveway, surrounded by folding chairs, coolers, paper plates, and neighbors holding drinks like it was a celebration.

A large white banner hung over the garage door with bold red letters that read, GOODBYE FREELOADER DON’T COME BACK. Everyone turned toward me at the same time, as if I had just walked onto a stage they had prepared.

Uncle Walter, already drunk and unsteady, stumbled forward from the patio and shouted, “Thirty years old and still nothing to show for it, your poor mother had to support you for years!”

Tiffany laughed loudly, picked up a hot dog from a plate, and threw it at my car. It hit the hood and slid slowly onto the windshield while she grinned and said, “There is your last free meal, you loser!”

Some kids nearby pointed and laughed because the adults were laughing too, and that made everything feel even more humiliating. My father stood by the grill holding metal tongs, smiling like this entire situation was harmless entertainment.