I was in the kitchen when the phone rang, cutting celery for soup, and I looked at his name on the screen and felt nothing in particular, which itself felt like a kind of progress. 6 months ago, Derek calling would have meant something. A request, a problem, sometimes just a check-in that I would have been glad of.
Now, his name on a screen was simply information. The way a weather forecast is information, I let it ring twice, then I answered, ‘Mom.’ His voice was different, softer, measured. The voice he used when he was trying to get something. Derek, I said, I want to apologize, he said, for how things went last week. I was stressed.
The money, it’s a lot. I reacted badly. I set down my knife. I appreciate that, I said in the tone of someone who appreciates it the way they appreciate a weather update. Receiving it without being changed by it. I want to work this out, he continued. between family without lawyers. Mom, we can split this. I’m not trying to cut you out.