When I was eighteen, she had stood in the kitchen and twisted a dish towel in her hands while my father told me I was selfish. When I came back two weeks later to retrieve the last box of books from the garage and found the house alarm already reset so I could not enter without permission, she had brought the box out to my car and whispered, “Just give him time,” as if time were the thing missing and not courage.
Even now, in the hallway, she watched me as if I were someone she had once known well and no longer knew how to approach without risking the structure of her own life.
I felt, for one strange, piercing second, sorry for her.
Then the feeling passed.
Because pity had been the trap for years. Pity for my mother’s position. Pity for my father’s temper. Pity for Hannah’s pressure. Pity had been the solvent that dissolved my own boundaries long enough for other people’s needs to keep entering.
Not anymore.
“I’m going to the lodge tonight,” I said.
My father’s expression shifted again, calculating.
“That would be unwise.”
“I’m sure it would.”
“We should discuss logistics first.”
“No.”
“We need an inventory of assets, staffing obligations, vendor contracts, insurance—”
“I said no.”