My mother m0cked me in front of 50 guests and shoved my gift back like I was nothing… But the moment I opened that navy box and told everyone to look inside, the room went silent—and her smile never came back.

They were large hands, scarred and rough at the knuckles from years of work, but surprisingly careful in the small things. The way he tied my shoelaces when I was little. The way he wrapped birthday gifts as if the corners of the paper mattered. The way he held the backs of chairs for older women at church and adjusted picture frames in hotel rooms because it bothered him when things hung crooked. He was a construction engineer, solidly middle class, the kind of man who never confused love with grand speech. He showed up. He fixed things. He remembered dates. He attended every parent-teacher conference with a notebook. He made pancakes on Saturdays and oversalted eggs every Sunday because he always forgot the cheese already had enough salt in it.

When I think of him now, I do not think first of the day he died.

I think of the beach.