I saw my mother first, naturally. She was wearing a cream sweater set and pearls because she had always mistaken softness in color for dignity in character. She stood near the grill with two aunts and a wineglass, laughing at something my cousin said. When she noticed me, her smile came automatically, the public one, the version designed for witnesses.
“Sarah!” she called. “There you are.”
Then she saw Crawford, Patricia, the tactical deputies, and the federal badges. Her smile faltered but did not disappear, because people like my mother believe every scene remains salvageable until the exact second it is not.
My father stepped out from the porch with a beer in one hand. Rachel emerged from around the house with her fiancé, Connor, handsome in a forgettable way and already wearing the expression of a man who knows he has accidentally joined a family at the moment it becomes news.
I crossed the yard with my hands loose at my sides because I knew if I clenched them the tremor in my fingers would become visible. Gravel crunched under our shoes. Conversations thinned, stopped, turned into silence arranged around us like chairs.