For three seconds I stood in the middle of the room doing nothing. Then training took over. Pants. Boots. Laptop. Secure pouch. Files. Charger. Wallet. Sidearm locked as required for air travel. I stuffed the torn coffee packet into the trash and then took it back out because it had my fingerprints on it and I was suddenly furious at the existence of every small mess. In the business center off the lobby I printed screenshots of the text exchange on hotel letterhead, handwritten time and date in the margin out of habit. Document, preserve, timestamp, chain. In crisis, ritual is one of the few forms of mercy you can give yourself.

The elevator mirrored me back in pieces: cropped hair, gray fatigue shirt under a jacket, eyes too awake. My phone buzzed continuously as I crossed the lobby.

Mom: You are ruining Rachel’s wedding over a property you never use.

Mom: Answer me.

Mom: Your father says stop overreacting and we will explain in person.

Rachel: Sarah please don’t make this ugly. Mom says you’re acting crazy.

Rachel: You’re never there. It made sense.