If I spoke up during a conversation, I was told that I was being too intense or that I was making things awkward for the guests. If I remained silent, they joked that I was probably thinking about spreadsheets instead of enjoying the company of my family.
I had spent years learning how to make myself smaller so that I would not disturb the delicate balance of their shared delusions. Apparently, my willingness to disappear had only convinced them that I was a servant who did not deserve a seat.
Maverick kept his foot planted firmly in the spot where my chair should have been as if he were guarding a fortress. He was waiting for me to try and pull the chair back so that he could kick it again for the amusement of the adults.
I noticed the small details of the room as the laughter began to die down into a series of satisfied sighs. I saw the smear of gravy on a silver spoon and the way the light from the chandelier created broken patterns on the tablecloth.
Nobody asked Maverick to apologize for his behavior or even suggested that he had crossed a line. Nobody reached out to help me move my chair back to its rightful place at the table.