Two weeks after the restraining order hearing, Victoria called to tell me my husband’s lawyer had sent over a letter. I asked if it was about the divorce, and she said, “Not exactly.” She read it to me over the phone. The letter proposed that we pause the divorce proceedings and try separation counseling instead. It was full of therapy language about communication breakdowns and blended family challenges.
It talked about the importance of working through difficulties rather than giving up on a marriage. It suggested that with professional help, we could find better ways to address our different parenting styles. The letter completely ignored everything my husband had done to Lily. It reframed his emotional abuse as a parenting disagreement.
It made the whole situation sound like a misunderstanding that could be fixed with better communication. Victoria said this was a common tactic to delay proceedings and maintain control. She’d seen it dozens of times in cases like mine. The goal was to make me feel guilty for not trying hard enough and to buy my husband more time to figure out his next move.