“You think because I loved Mom I didn’t see the marriage?” My voice stayed quiet. “I saw the parts where she felt lonely long before Diana existed. I saw the parts where you worked late because work was easier than intimacy. I saw the parts where she became careful with her joy because if she needed too much you called it drama. None of that changes what you let happen after she died.”
His eyes closed briefly.
Evelyn, wisely, said nothing.
He tried again. “Diana believed the house should stay within the active family.”
The phrase was so grotesque I sat back.
“The active family.”
He winced, hearing it at last.
“Do you hear what has happened to your language?” I asked. “What does that make me? Inactive inventory?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“No, it’s exactly what you meant. You just wanted it to sound administrative instead of cruel.”
For a moment we simply looked at each other across the kitchen table where he had once helped me with math homework, shown me how to shuffle cards, taught me to cut a grapefruit cleanly with a small serrated knife. That was the treachery of fathers, I thought. Even bad disappointments are built on top of real tenderness. Otherwise leaving would be simple.