And then, near the bottom of the first page, the words that now sat on his chest like something heavy and permanent:
I want you to know that I am keeping the baby. I know you said what you said. I know you don’t want this, but this child is not nothing to me, Simon. And I will not pretend otherwise. I’m going to raise this child alone if I have to, and I will be enough. I will make myself enough.
He turned to the second page.
I’m not writing this to make you feel guilty. I’m writing it because one day, when enough time has passed, I think the guilt will find you on its own. And when it does, I want you to know that I did not raise our child to hate you. I raised our child to be better than the fear that made you run away.
Victoria.
He set the letter down.
He sat in his chair under the small lamp in the large, silent house and did not move for a very long time.
Our child.
Not a possibility. Not a maybe. She had kept the baby. She had said it plainly: I am keeping the baby.
Which meant that somewhere, at some point in the last 30 years, a child had been born. His child.
And he had never looked. Not once.