I pulled over onto the gravel shoulder so fast the tires crunched. I could not see the road clearly anymore. My throat had closed. My hands were locked around the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles burned.

Cars moved past us in bright strips of afternoon sun, each one full of people going about their Saturday as if the whole world had not just shifted inside my chest. A pickup hauling lumber rattled by. Somewhere in the distance a siren rose and faded. The ordinary sound of the day continued, and that made what was happening in the car feel almost unreal, like grief often does, suspended in a pocket of time the rest of the world refuses to acknowledge.

I turned halfway in my seat to look at them. Lily was staring at the back of my headrest now. Noah had one shoelace untied and did not seem to notice. They both looked small in the washed-out summer light filtering through the windows, smaller than they should have looked, as if the past hour had pressed something down inside them.

“How long?” I asked, and the question came out lower than I intended, heavy with an effort not to frighten them. “How long has that been happening?”