Until I spoke to her college friend, Rachel.
“She felt trapped,” Rachel said. “Not by you—but by everything. The pregnancy, your mom. She once told me Carol said the babies would be better off without her.”
That hurt more than anything.
“Why didn’t she tell me?” I asked.
“She was scared. She thought your mom would turn you against her.”
Weeks turned into months.
Then one day, I got a message from an unknown number.
A photo of Emily in the hospital, holding our daughters.
“I wish I was the kind of mother they deserve. I hope you can forgive me.”
I tried calling. Nothing.
Texting. Nothing.
But it meant she was alive.
And I wasn’t going to stop looking.
A year passed.
On the twins’ first birthday, the ache was still there.
That evening, there was a knock at the door.
I opened it.
Emily stood there.
Tears in her eyes. A small gift bag in her hand.
She looked stronger. Healthier.
But still fragile.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
I didn’t think.
I pulled her into my arms.
For the first time in a year… I felt whole again.
In the weeks that followed, she told me everything.
The postpartum depression.
My mother’s words.
The feeling that she wasn’t enough.