Madison,

I don’t know if you’ll read this, but I’m writing it anyway because there are things I should have said a long time ago and not saying them has not improved anything.

You were always easier to leave to yourself because you handled things. That is not fair, and I know that sounds too small for what I’m trying to say, but it’s true. Your brother needed noise. You needed very little from us on the surface, so we let that become the story. It was easier to believe you didn’t need much than to admit we had gotten used to not noticing.

Your mother is angry all the time now. Kevin is angry whenever he visits. I’m not writing to ask you to forgive any of that. I’m writing because I found something in the attic when your mother told me to bring down old boxes to see what could be sold at the garage sale she says she still wants to have even though no one has the energy for it.

It was one of your old notebooks.

There are twenty-seven drawings in it of the same house.

Blue. White fence. Oak tree.

The first one looks like you drew it with a crayon.