"Let everyone know how much I love you. What's wrong with that?"
Intimate. Sticky-sweet. Each word sliced into me like a blade, carving deeper with every syllable.
I clutched the bills in my fist, listening to Rebecca's coy whimpers, listening to Sean's husky voice.
He said, "Don't bite down so hard."
He said, "Relax."
My face went numb. The pain in my chest swelled until it felt like my heart was bleeding from the inside out.
But I'd left the house without my pills. So I repeated it to myself, over and over: Didn't I abort that baby so I could survive?
And if I'm going to survive, I have to earn money. That's just how it is.
Money doesn't care how you earn it. On your knees or on your feet, it spends the same.
I don't know how long it was before Rebecca finally emerged, her face flushed, a vivid red mark blooming on her neck.
"Sean, this salesgirl gave excellent service. Very obedient."
Sean pulled out another wad of cash and tossed it at me.
"Pick it up on your knees. Consider it a tip."
I knelt. One bill at a time, I gathered them from the floor and pressed them together in my palm.
"Thank you, sir. Very generous of you."