The moment I saw the results on the blood panel, my fingernails dug into my palms so hard they drew blood. Droplets fell one by one onto the floor beside my feet.
The doctor's voice echoed in my ears.
"Ms. Barnes, your bloodstream contains dangerously high levels of diazepam, a powerful sedative, as well as immunosuppressants. That's why you've been experiencing chronic dizziness and fatigue."
"These substances cause irreversible neurological damage to a fetus. I strongly recommend you terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible."
My hand drifted to my lower belly. Tears spilled down my cheeks again, hot and relentless.
"I'm so sorry, baby. Mommy thought she could protect you this time around. I'm so sorry I failed you."
"I hope you find your way back up to heaven and pick yourself a good mother. One who can give you a whole lifetime of happiness."
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and forced my voice steady.
"Doctor, please schedule the procedure. I consent to the termination."
He nodded.
Two hours later, I lay on the freezing surgical table, feeling the sharp instruments scrape inside me, stroke after agonizing stroke, taking my baby away.