I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and stood. “Sorry, I’m going to the restroom.”
Once I stepped outside, the cold wind and light rain went into my coat, making it wet and cold.
I couldn’t stop shaking and the sickness eased a little.
A child. They actually had a child.
Freddie, who always said he didn’t like kids, had a child with another woman.
In ten years, Freddie and I had five pregnancies, but every time, we ended them.
Freddie had a bad habit: he refused to use condoms.
Each time, I took birth control pills and if I got pregnant, I had an abortion.
His reasons for not wanting kids were simple. He said he was focused on his career and he didn’t like children.
Every time I had an abortion, Freddie would buy me all kinds of things to make me feel better.
He often said we were still young and that all these years had been too packed for us to enjoy being a couple.
Perhaps since I loved him so much, whatever he said always moved me.
From drinking and taking birth control pills for so long, my body was already badly hurt.
During my fifth pregnancy, the doctor said that if I lost that one, I might never have children again.